Postnatal Self-Care: Start here When it comes to Your Emotional and Mental Health

If you’re reading this, the likelihood is that you’ve just had your baby. Congratulations! You did it! Becoming a Mother is an incredible journey that is filled with so many emotions and new beginnings. One thing is for certain, you’re about to enter a massive period of adjustment. In the midst of all these changes and learning about your new life, it’s important to make sure that you don’t forget yourself. In this article we are going to talk about the postnatal period and provide you with some strategies to ensure that you, as Mum, are being looked after too.

Becoming a Mother is nothing short of a remarkable journey. You and your body have performed one of life’s miracles. You grew and bought a whole human being into our world! So we want to preface this, by ensuring you know just how incredible you are.

We will not hide the truth from you, your world is changing and this is going to be a period of adjustment. There will be sleepless nights, you are going to feel all over the place and question everything, but there will also be baby giggles that warm your heart and a wealth of first for your baby that will be etched into your brain for a lifetime.

While your baby’s well-being is paramount, your own mental and emotional wellness is equally important. In the midst of nurturing your newborn, it is easy to forget about yourself and neglect your own well-being. Practicing self-care should not be a luxury, it is a necessity.

Here’s an explanation of common emotional changes that new mothers experience:

You’ve probably heard of the term baby blues, and no, this isn’t a made up thing. Baby blues are VERY real and will happen between 2 and 4 days post-birth, and continue the following 2-3 weeks. The name gives an accurate description of how you are likely to feel, down, low, and blue. You may find yourself crying often, with seemingly no explanation as to why. You will feel overwhelmed and wonder if this is it for you, and will this last forever?
The answer to that is no, this will not last forever. And actually, there is an explanation why you feel this way:

Whilst pregnant, your body has experienced a surge in hormones. This is the same for when you gave birth and in the laws of physics, what goes up, must come down. Only, the hormones don’t just come back down…they come crashing back down! It is this crash of hormones (estrogen and progesterone in particular) that cause you to feel wobbly. Pair this with sleep deprivation, caring for a newborn and the anxiety of having another person rely on you completely…it is a lot.

The symptoms of baby blues can feel and look a lot like depression. Keep in mind, having baby blues doesn’t mean that you are depressed, but if these feelings continue after your baby has turned 4 weeks old, we recommend you speak to a professional. More on that later.

You are likely in a whirlwind of emotions right now. Baby blues, learning your new baby, juggling the never ending messages asking to see your baby, potentially learning how to breastfeed and keep your home straight.

Sound familiar?

Notice how none of that referenced you in particular, but all of this involves you.

This is the pitfall that we see time and time again. New Mums putting everything and everyone before themselves. While getting to know your new baby and having visitors, remember to take care of yourself. Don’t forget to look after YOU!

You still need to be a priority. You still need to look after yourself, as you are a human being too.

 

A phrase that we find ourselves often saying to new Mum’s is: You cannot pour from an empty cup…write that on a post-it note and stick it somewhere that you’ll see it every day! Remember this as you progress through the postpartum period.

This phrase is a reminder that to be the best Mum, you first need to take care of yourself. If you feel good and are well, you can provide your family with the support and love they need.

Of course we want to avoid that. So how we solve that, is by looking after you.

The way to look after you, is self-care.

 

Self-care explains itself in one foul swoop. You need to care for yourself, and even more so now. Making self-care a priority will help you navigate this period of new motherhood, and support your mental and emotional well-being.

Self-care will nurture not only your emotional and mental well-being, but often your physical well-being too. When we feel good, the body will follow. Self-care practises will differ between each person, so don’t worry if you try something and it doesn’t work for you.

Examples of self-care that in the postpartum period:

• Acknowledging your feelings, and not ignoring them
• Allocate yourself some time to catch up on sleep – This does take some planning ahead, but this is SO important! Can you organise someone to come over for an hour to watch baby whilst you sleep?
• Get some fresh air – Perhaps you can get outside for a change of scenery, even just 5-minutes! Alternatively, open a window or your back door and allow the breeze in. This will boost your mood and serotonin levels.
• Batch cook a nutritious meal ready for quick use at a later date – The effort now, will make your life a lot easier later!
• Have an uninterrupted period of relaxation – Our favourite is a soak in the bath with a candle.
• Be realistic with the expectations of yourself – It doesn’t matter how much you want to, you aren’t going to complete each day exactly how you want to or think it should be. Your mental well-being will increase phenomenally when you accept this.
• Connect with your support system…

The postpartum period is an emotional rollercoaster of incredible highs and the lowest lows. Through this vulnerable period, you’re going to need your support system.

Your support system is a network of people that you can rely on for emotional support. Your Mum, your partner, your sibling, your best friends and not forgetting those in your community – perhaps you’re part of a netball team, the people in your place of worship, and the other parents at pregnancy/baby groups. Don’t forget the medical professionals who helped bring your baby into the world!

Your support system may be able to help with practical things like looking after baby for an hour whilst you catch up on much-needed sleep, be a listening ear, or simply be there to make you a cup of tea and give you a hug.

It is important that you reach out to this network, or let them know how you are feeling so they can reach in, ease some responsibilities and allow you to breathe. Focus on you for a moment whilst you collect yourself and can face continuing this new journey again. Remember: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK!

They say it takes a village to raise a child. We couldn’t agree with this any more. But that village doesn’t just rally around children – they will support you too. After all, without you, your baby’s world would be incomplete.

 

Let’s start from the morning onward.

Here are some suggestions of manageable tips and tricks for postpartum Mums to boost their mental and emotional health:

• Make your bed when you wake up. Scientific writer Charles Duhigg explains that making your bed every morning is correlated to better productivity and a greater sense of well-being, plus more! Productivity isn’t the focus right now, but well-being is.We’re not saying that making your bed is going to change the world, but this small win early on in the day can spark a chain reaction of feel-good.
• Start the day with some fresh air. After you’ve woken up, tended to your baby and had something for breakfast, open some windows and let the fresh air in. If you can get baby ready and go for a short walk around the block, even better.Do not underestimate the power of a change of scenery!
• Practice mindfulness. Whilst outside or on your walk around the block, you can practice some quick and easy mindfulness techniques. One of our favourites is the name game.

In your head, or out loud, name:
5 things you can see
4 things you can hear
3 things you can touch
2 things you can smell

BONUS! Try noticing 1 thing that you can taste (this one is a little harder than the others)

• Connect with someone. This could be having a brand new conversation with your partner or someone who lives with you, call a friend, or send a text to one of your Mum friends. Social media can be a beautiful thing, so why not use it to connect with other Mums? Join a facebook group, or use Google to research some baby classes that are local to you. Use these connections as a chance to talk about how you’re feeling, what is on your mind and ask questions. You will be surprised as to the power of having an outlet and community of like-minded people.
• Feel your emotions. This isn’t specific to a time of day, but it is a very important one. Acknowledge your feelings. If you need to cry, cry. If you want to vent, vent! Call a friend or write it all on a note in your phone (maybe delete it later). Celebrate your victories! Do not bottle up your emotions, this will only make them worse. Let it all out!!
• Have a daily check-in with yourself and your partner (if you have one)-How have you felt today overall?-Describe your day in three words?-Why these three words?-What are you proud of at the moment?-When you think about today, and moving into tomorrow, what you do need more of?-When you think about today, and moving into tomorrow, what you do need less of?-Is there something you’d like to do tomorrow? What is it?-Is there anything on your mind?If you can elaborate on these further, go for it! It is important to be aware of where your well-being is right now, and also your partner’s.

• Plan somewhere in your week to have some ‘Me-Time’. Wherever possible, carve out some time for just yourself. That could be the nap or bath that we mentioned earlier, some time to wash and style your hair or some time to do your favourite hobby or read some of your favourite book. These moments will recharge your emotional batteries.

 

Sometimes, the emotional toll of childbirth and adjusting to motherhood can get all too much. Whilst we expect the baby blues, if it continues longer than a few weeks, then it may be little more serious.

If you find you are experiencing symptoms like the baby blues or depression, or you just simply cannot seem to feel like yourself no matter what, it may be postnatal depression. As with normal depression, these feelings don’t just last for a few days. They are sustained feelings that just won’t go away.

You may be experiencing severe emotional distress, too. These conditions are more common than you might think and they do affect many new mothers.

The important thing to remember is that you’re not alone, and there is help available.

Don’t Hesitate to Reach Out

We cannot stress this enough: Do not hesitate to reach out!

If you are feeling overwhelmed or experiencing persistent symptoms of postnatal depression, tell someone you trust and make an appointment with your healthcare provider at your earliest inconvenience. Do not suffer in silence. Your emotional well-being and mental health is just as important as your physical health.

By letting someone you trust know, they can support you. Plus, your healthcare provider will be well-equipped to offer guidance, support, and explore potential treatment options with you. This will open up your access to therapists and counselors who are ready to stand by your side.

There is no shame in asking for help – in fact, it is a sign of strength to acknowledge your feelings and to be able to seek help when you need it.

Sometimes, professional help is just what we need.

Remember: you’re not alone on this journey, and help is always within reach.

Before you go, we want to take this opportunity to remind you that you matter. You matter just as much as your baby does.

While the care of your baby may dominate your daily life, remember that you are essential, too. Making your self-care a priority alongside your baby isn’t selfish, it is a vital part of being the best Mum that you can be.

By prioritising your self-care, addressing your emotional needs and seeking support, you’re not only caring for yourself, but you’re creating a nurturing environment for your little one. Your well-being is important.